My turn: Don't judge, just eat all the pink Starbursts
Steve Thomas
Issue date: 11/19/09 Section: Perspective
Few things in life are legitimately shocking enough to make one's jaw drop.
Getting slapped is probably one of them. Watching someone get hit by a bus is probably another.
I hope everyone can count the number of times they've seen either of those things happen on just one hand, but most people have jaw-dropping reactions to a lot of things.
My most recent jaw-dropping moment came when a friend of mine told me he doesn't like cheesecake.
Dramatic, I know, but seriously, who doesn't like cheesecake? It's creamy AND crumbly. You can make it with any kind of fruit topping, chocolate, walnuts, cinnamon, caramel, peanut butter, marshmallow fluff or gummi bears - sort of like pancakes at IHOP.
Rejecting cheesecake of any kind should be a crime unless you have an allergy, and even then you should need a card for certifiable proof.
The jaw drop incident before that came when another friend told me her favorite Starbursts are the orange ones. If that's not enough, her second favorite was lemon.
No joke.
How can anyone love any color aside from the pink ones? I've always assumed the sweet, delicious strawberry Starbursts were the only reason anyone ever bought whole tubes to begin with. Opening the "Fun Size" two-packs to reveal two pink Starbursts on Halloween night is better than Christmas morning.
But not for my friend. I repeat: orange, then lemon.
I scraped my jaw off the floor long enough to have that trivial, subjective argument we all have with our friends about Starbursts at one point or another. It's one in a familiar series: Dark, milk or white chocolate? What's the best color Skittle? The best kind of Runt?
The answers to those questions are dark, a tie between red and green and banana, respectively, but that's neither here nor there.
Disagreements are met with disbelief if you're lucky, and disdain if you're not. Regardless, I was splitting some Halloween candy with a friend recently, when I finally realized how wrong we all are.
Getting slapped is probably one of them. Watching someone get hit by a bus is probably another.
I hope everyone can count the number of times they've seen either of those things happen on just one hand, but most people have jaw-dropping reactions to a lot of things.
My most recent jaw-dropping moment came when a friend of mine told me he doesn't like cheesecake.
Dramatic, I know, but seriously, who doesn't like cheesecake? It's creamy AND crumbly. You can make it with any kind of fruit topping, chocolate, walnuts, cinnamon, caramel, peanut butter, marshmallow fluff or gummi bears - sort of like pancakes at IHOP.
Rejecting cheesecake of any kind should be a crime unless you have an allergy, and even then you should need a card for certifiable proof.
The jaw drop incident before that came when another friend told me her favorite Starbursts are the orange ones. If that's not enough, her second favorite was lemon.
No joke.
How can anyone love any color aside from the pink ones? I've always assumed the sweet, delicious strawberry Starbursts were the only reason anyone ever bought whole tubes to begin with. Opening the "Fun Size" two-packs to reveal two pink Starbursts on Halloween night is better than Christmas morning.
But not for my friend. I repeat: orange, then lemon.
I scraped my jaw off the floor long enough to have that trivial, subjective argument we all have with our friends about Starbursts at one point or another. It's one in a familiar series: Dark, milk or white chocolate? What's the best color Skittle? The best kind of Runt?
The answers to those questions are dark, a tie between red and green and banana, respectively, but that's neither here nor there.
Disagreements are met with disbelief if you're lucky, and disdain if you're not. Regardless, I was splitting some Halloween candy with a friend recently, when I finally realized how wrong we all are.
Viewing Comments 1 - 2 of 2
Emily Spivak
posted 11/19/09 @ 9:49 AM EST
Hi Steve,
I am not sure that I've ever met anyone that didn't like cheesecake! I used to go to IHOP with my friends for their pancakes but I definitely think we will be going to another breakfast place because the company has been exposed for food safety issues and animal cruelty in its supply chain. (Continued…)
Heathe
posted 11/19/09 @ 12:29 PM EST
I'm one of those weirdos who doesn't like cheesecake. Something about cheese and cake just.. doesn't sit right with me. Would you put cheddar on top of your chocolate fudge cake? No. (Continued…)
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