Peer pressure fuels beard-off
Jeremy Reed
Issue date: 3/18/10 Section: Features
I've done some pretty bold things in my life because of pride. More specifically, peer pressure. Peer pressure has been the driving force behind most of the stupid decisions I've made during my short time on this planet.
Peer pressure was with me in third grade when Josh Davis dared me to eat a glue stick and again in high school when I took a bite out of a stick of deodorant for $5. Along with making me sick, earning me poor attendance in class and even getting me in trouble with the law a time or two, peer pressure has put me in some interesting situations.
My newest peer pressure-fueled undertaking (just like the rest) has my face a little red and my reputation a little at stake.
I'm in a beard-off.
To quote Voltaire, "Ideas are like beards; men do not have them until they grow up." I'm not sure if I'm grown up by Voltaire's standards, but I did have an idea to grow a beard so that has to count for something.
It all started the week before Spring Break when I was feeling a little lazier than usual and just didn't shave for five days. A few days later at work I joked with one of my co-workers that everyone at work should have a competition to see who can grow the thickest beard. After a little peer pressure and name-calling everyone decided to join in, and seeing that everyone at my place of employment has exactly one X and one Y chromosome, it didn't seem like too bad of an idea.
The rules are simple, grooming is acceptable on the neck region, but clippers aren't aloud. The thickest and best looking beards will win. The prize? One sweet-ass face sweater and more man points than one could possibly ask for.
Since accepting this mission of lumberjack proportions, I have come to realize several things. A: Growing a beard presents challenges. B: There are different types of beards And C: Some people (possibly including myself) should never venture outside the realm of beardlessness.
The early stages of beard-growing, like any other beginning process, isn't pretty.
Peer pressure was with me in third grade when Josh Davis dared me to eat a glue stick and again in high school when I took a bite out of a stick of deodorant for $5. Along with making me sick, earning me poor attendance in class and even getting me in trouble with the law a time or two, peer pressure has put me in some interesting situations.
My newest peer pressure-fueled undertaking (just like the rest) has my face a little red and my reputation a little at stake.
I'm in a beard-off.
To quote Voltaire, "Ideas are like beards; men do not have them until they grow up." I'm not sure if I'm grown up by Voltaire's standards, but I did have an idea to grow a beard so that has to count for something.
It all started the week before Spring Break when I was feeling a little lazier than usual and just didn't shave for five days. A few days later at work I joked with one of my co-workers that everyone at work should have a competition to see who can grow the thickest beard. After a little peer pressure and name-calling everyone decided to join in, and seeing that everyone at my place of employment has exactly one X and one Y chromosome, it didn't seem like too bad of an idea.
The rules are simple, grooming is acceptable on the neck region, but clippers aren't aloud. The thickest and best looking beards will win. The prize? One sweet-ass face sweater and more man points than one could possibly ask for.
Since accepting this mission of lumberjack proportions, I have come to realize several things. A: Growing a beard presents challenges. B: There are different types of beards And C: Some people (possibly including myself) should never venture outside the realm of beardlessness.
The early stages of beard-growing, like any other beginning process, isn't pretty.
Viewing Comments 1 - 1 of 1
Christy Whitson
posted 3/22/10 @ 10:31 PM EST
Hilarious. I laughed out loud 5 times if that means anything. Even found myself wanting to find a way to use some of your jokes to make fun of my grown nephews at the next family gathering. (Continued…)
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